You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
