Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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