she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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