actually, I'm a sock model
I'm so fucking centered right now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
