What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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