how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize