people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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