I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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