This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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