I am puke
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
