im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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