She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
