who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
