I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
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There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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