Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.