you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.