So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.