I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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