Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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