I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
