I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
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