Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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