just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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