I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
