since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
