i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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