She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
