ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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