something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
