he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize