I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
where are my eyebrows?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
