brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
