ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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