very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
