I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
