cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
