your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
