just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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