Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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