1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
