At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
