We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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