i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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