My Higher Power is John Stamos
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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