I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
