I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
