I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
