Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
worst night to have a conscience
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
