We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
