I think my vagina is haunted
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
