Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
