I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
