You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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