Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
