ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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