friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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