i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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