It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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