i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
