I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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