I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
