Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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