told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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